Gentle Ways to Build your Bonds: The Serene Sit
We here at the Habibi Bear Hub in the beautiful PNW hope that your New Year is off to a great start and that your holidays were pleasant and filled with love and fun. If all the activity has you al little wrung out or depleted, why not refresh your energy with a gentle practice that we call the “serene sit,” a completely passive and relaxing way to deepen the bond with your Habibi Bear puppy, no matter how long you’ve had them or how old they are? Keep reading to find out how easy it is to do!
What is the Serene Sit?
If you have never heard of this, don’t panic! The serene sit is a term that we came up with to describe a grounding, centering practice of sitting quietly with your Habibi Bear puppy while the two of you enjoy being relaxed and present with each other. It is one of the three bonding rituals that we use in our Habibi Method and our groundbreaking “ Human’s Guide to the Dog Galaxy.” Isn’t that simple? Easy-peasy!
the benefits of the serene sit:
A Case Study
We are going to segue here into a quick story of how nicely the serene sit works to calm and ground high-strung dogs or dogs who are just anxious due to suddenly changing family circumstances. My name is Christi, I’m a dog nanny and I help write the dog blogs here at Habibi Bears. Recently, one of my dog client’s was struggling with a lot of changes in a very short amount of time (three weeks). A child moved away from home to go to school out of state, the mom’s work hours changed, and then the family had a long vacation scheduled. All of those things would be stressful for anyone, not to mention my client, a very observant dog named Cooper who had a tendency to notice any changes to his environment.
Cooper began to demonstrate all the hallmark behaviors associated with increased anxiety. His mouth stayed tight and closed, he displayed half-moon whale eyes, and he began curling up into himself (nose to tail like a “C”) and remained on his dog bed, refusing to play like before or even go outside to relieve himself. When I was unable to tempt him with a new squeaky toy (Cooper loves to destroy the squeakers in his stuffies), I turned off the noise distraction (the television) and sat down within an arm’s length to him, and made a concerted effort not to look at him. Eye contact with an anxious dog can often exacerbate the situation. Instead, I made myself comfortable and pulled up specific music composed to reduce Dog Anxiety on YouTube, which I played softly while I worked on the computer. While I was working, I would give Cooper side glances to see if anything was reaching him through his stress. Throughout the rest of the day, I would get up, come back, sit down, and repeat, while allowing him to try to self-regulate.
When he ate the boiled chicken breast I offered him by hand, as well as drinking from my hand, I was quite pleased (Hand feeding is another one of our bonding rituals in the Habibi Method). If he had been in an extreme state of distress, hhe would have refused any food or drink, even by hand. That night, instead of Cooper going to sleep in his usual spot, he remained on his dog bed, curled up, so I brought his favorite blanket, which has his own smell on it, to cover him. The next morning, I repeated the serene sitting, the anxiety reducing music, and hand feeding.
About midday, Cooper at last relaxed enough to go out to relieve himself, but still wanted to go back to his dog bed, so I persisted with the serene sitting, hand feeding, and calming music for the rest of our time together.
When his parents returned, I explained to them how dogs can react to sudden changes in households, and they took extra care to make Cooper feel secure with tighter routines and modified short walks. When I returned to watch Cooper two days later, I was thrilled! Cooper was back to his old self, and I was greeted with happy kisses and his favorite squeaky toy. He actually led me to follow him to sit on the step with him, and now it is his favorite activity next to ‘kill the squeaky toy’. Whenever I watch Cooper, he will bark or huff until I follow him to “our spot” on the step where he sits next to me while I sit on the floor and read or work on the computer, or sometimes just sit and look out of the window with him as the world passes by. It Is not uncommon for him to ask for this sitting activity four times a day, which makes me extremely happy.
As a dog care professional, it is something that I strive for with each client, to be another person that the dog can deeply trust. By using the serene sit technique, I was able to maintain a light bond and develop an even deeper bond with a dog under unusual stress. Instead of associating me with something unpleasant, with the serene sit technique I was able to shift his stressful experience into something more neutral and build on it, turning it into a positive experience.
Make the serene sit work for you
If the holidays were a little unsettling for your Habibi Bear puppy, perhaps they are acting out. Maybe they are extra clingy, whiny, or on the other end of the spectrum, extra jumpy or frantic. If you notice any of these behaviors, why not take the time to try the serene sit with your Habibi Bear puppy? All it takes is awareness of your breathing, getting grounded into a spot next to your Habibi Bear puppy, maybe giving them a chew toy of some sort, and sitting with them while they engage in an activity. You do not necessarily have to talk to them, in fact, sometimes, talking can be distracting. Just allow yourself to share the same space as your little Habibi Bear guy or gal, and see where it takes you both! Some dogs will ask for pets, while others will simply lean into you as you are sitting. It’s all good and there is no wrong way to do this practice. Try it and see how it works for you and your Habibi Bear puppy. If it is a hit, please write back and let us know! We love hearing positive feedback from our Habibi Bear Tribe families and you never know when your story could be featured here on the blogs! Drop us a line, shoot us an email or DM, because here at Habibi Bears, we are always here for you, cheering you on!